About The Author
Welcome!! This is a place of free-thinking, clashing ideas, societal standards, resistance, gender profiling, political correctness, much more political incorrectness, swearing, objective and subjective observations, secrets that are not so secret, recipes (from cakes to cocktails, with emphasis on the latter), and so much more. I’d include laundry tips but I tend to dye things pink.
This is where I unpack my bags, empty the pockets of my apron, and expose the truth of what lies under the bed, in the vegetable drawer, and on the shopping list. Amazingly, it’s not just about about my narcissistic Schattenkind tendencies, but about the social/cultural world we live in. And the relationship of baking soda to salt.
This place is about the modern housewife. And more. It’s about 1963 revival, where happy hour is standard and women still drink when pregnant (only mixed with a slurpy so no one suspects). On the electronic pages of this blog, we’ll explore the world of the stay-at-home-parent (note the rare politically correct usage here). We’ll try to find a radder name for it too because that one sounds so passé. I’m thinking Retro Mom. MILF is applicable too but a little over-used. And while I am a strong advocate of using the F-word, I find using it in an acronym loses some of the panache.
This place is where we explore the challenges of a balanced life in modern society. We’ll ask questions like: How can I eat five of the cupcakes I just made and still fit into my jeans? Why does America resist the new Health Care package? Why did God make Republicans? Did Republicans make God? How can I explain to my kid that the cat ate some of the cupcakes I made for the school party and she’ll have do decide which kids she doesn’t think deserve a cupcake? Is it possible to feel sexy in an apron? When homeopathy fails, can I just go straight to Benadryl?
And here’s a great one: Should women stay at home to raise their kids?
And another: Can women be fulfilled staying at home raising their kids?
Better yet: Can women be fulfilled?
Or even: Why can’t we just get the fuck over ourselves and be happy?
From cake decorating to multiple orgasms, I’m dedicating myself to exploring the answers to all these questions and more!
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And a little about me: Most people know me as Ammi Midstokke. I live in Germany with my husband and our five-year-old daughter, B. That’s no attempt at hiding identification of my toddler by use of her first name - we actually do call her B. I am a stay-at-home-mom and writer who finds joy in ironing my husband’s shirts. Before you puke on your keyboard, let me tell you, it was not always that way. But the man brings me Prada shoes on occasion, so I wear them while ironing and trust me, ironing got way funner.
Favorite song: Anything by Bruce Springsteen
Greatest fear: Losing a limb
Most frequently used phrase: “Do I need to count to three?”
I bake, sew, feed the neighborhood with my latest kitchen experiments, mountain bike, and write. I do art projects with my kid, clean my house, have sex, knit sweaters, and run marathons. I also drink vats of coffee and take more vitamins than a pharmaceutical rep. When I’m not making the rest of the world sick by appearing totally happy and balanced in my life, I’m kicking myself for not being a better mother, eating too many cupcakes, not understanding the yen/dollar relationship, neglecting my husband, or generally failing at perfection somehow, because just like everyone else, I’m human.
Hi! I wanted to feature you on my blog and i wanted to run it past you before I posted it. Do you have a contact email?
Oh my god! You are a fucking hoot. We live on the lake in Sagle,Id and was googling nude beaches (gay cpl here)and your blog popped up. Love,love,loved yourpost about your one night camping getaway. we were just miles away.we would have made great camping buddies! Us…Tom and Joseph, a wonderful gay couple…but meat eaters both! We would have brought the tequila! Thanks so much for the smiles and giggles.Tell us when you are here again!!! T&J
Lovely to meet you guys!! And a useful connection, since I keep killing off my terrace plants. Help!
What does Brazen mean to you?
I am brainstorming product names for an artisan ice cream being offered in rather unconventional flavors, and I’m considering using the word “Brazen.”
My hesitation is that I fear that Brazen has some negative connotations – namely shameless (which implies I have something to be ashamed of) or presumptuous.
Does brazen mean bold and fearless to you, or brash and presumptuous?
Signed,
A Brazen Hussy
Hi Tam,
bra·zen, [brey-zuhn]; adjective
1. shameless or impudent: brazen presumption.
2. bold
I think brazen means all of that to me, and some more. I think being shameless would rather suggest that one disagrees that there is something to be ashamed of… perhaps it’s more of a challenge to accepted means/behaviors than necessarily an ignorance of the effects of ignoring them.
I’m trying to think of good words to describe unconventional ice cream…. (yum comes to mind!). I think I’d stick with something more delicious sounding… Something that rolls off your tongue when you say it, and makes you think of food.
i miss you. send me an email.
Hi Ammi
Wont you drop me a mail.
I experience a electromagnetic impulse event that killed my data…. included in this catastrophe was your email address
I loved your story on the Patagonian Marathon, looking forward to the tooth mechanic… Pete says it is E P I C
Ciao
Kelvin
Hi Kelvin! The story is coming… by the weekend! Possibly with grotesque pictures…
Hi Amy,
It was great to meet you today at the Weihnachtsmarkt, and I have had a hoot reading your posts! You are a brilliant wordsmith! I love the way you relate your experiences, the mix of humor, horror and honesty (i.e., Chilean Dentist).
If your courage had not been evident from the chronicle of your many adventures, it was profoundly expressed in your going out of your way to come and talk to us as we sipped our warm Gluhwein.
That you would come and willingly approach two individuals that you had overheard were “globe-trotting missionaries” (as I think you put it), demonstrated daring of the highest order, especially considering your recent post:
“Obviously, I’ve been in full panic and avoiding most social contacts on Sundays out of fear that someone might invite me to their church. Taking me to church is like auctioning a sun-weathered stripper at a Hospice fundraiser: Obscene, but for a good cause.”
Thanks for being adventurous enough to cross the threshold of conversation with us – we were so pleased to have such a serendipitous encounter!
Don’t worry! We won’t invite you to church until at least the third time we talk! (just kidding) Have a great experience in Chile – may the evidence in nature of God’s existence continue to impress you as you experience His friendship more and more!
Bob Marsh